Today I realized something about myself that was quite troubling to acknowledge. This new self awareness is indeed a blessing and an opportunity for personal growth. It is quite simple! For months I have been sad and deeply hurt about the recent events that took place in my life. I was greatly disappointed in the betrayal of friendship and trust, I was deeply hurt and disappointed in the lack of leadership and people's inability to stand up for something that was unfair and unjust. This week I was alarmed and hurt all over again, like the scar had been peeled back and the wound exposed again. A person that I had trusted revealed herself yet again. Her plan was revealed and I was shocked. I was blinded by the hurt and pain and wondered dear God how much more, how much more. How many more snakes in the grass have to be revealed, I just want to put this all behind me. But today after speaking with friends and trying to process my pain, my anger, my disappointment and my sense of betrayal again, I felt sad and sorry for myself. In the midst however in conversation with an empathic soul, a stunning truth was revealed. It was like God found a window of opportunity to say to me, Nadine how much more positive evidence can I give you. I keep showing you the positive and you keep looking back at the negative. I bring you good visionaries and you still look back at the snakes in the grass and give them power over your mood and mind set. It was like a light went off and I said, my God you have given me over 1500 visionaries to build the foundation of Soul Purpose. 1500 visionaries who will be the rocks and the pillars of this new venture. 1500 who understand, who love the vision, who understand empowerment and who want to do the right thing. Then Nadine why do you look back at the handful of people who betrayed you, took advantage of you, used you and spoke ill of you. It is important to move forward; to look forward not look back like Job did but forward in your calling. This for me is a new revelation. I am guilty of looking back. I am guilty of giving power to the people who did not mean me well. I am guilty of not giving honor to the gifts I have been given.
Today I make my vow to try really hard to not look back but to focus on the blessings and gifts that right here in front of me and right here beside me in my calling. I apologize for these moments of weakness and I realize the glory and the gifts I have been given. My eyes have been re-opened and the backward facing blinders have been removed, and for that I am grateful.
The power of the 1500 is bright, powerful, amazing and most important a testimonyto God's Will in my life. To God be the glory!
Much love Nadine
Here are some words that were sent to me today that helped greatly with my healing:
Also, I looked up the verse I referred to when we spoke. I have pasted them below. Lady Nadine, you are the sower. We (Visionaries) are seeds on good ground and we shall bring fourth good fruit. Be blessed and I'll call you next weekend when I am in town.Matthew 13:1-8 (King James Version)
1 The same day went Jesus out of the house, and sat by the sea side.
2 And great multitudes were gathered together unto him, so that he went into a ship, and sat; and the whole multitude stood on the shore.
3 And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;
4 And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:
5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:
6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.
7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:
8 But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixty fold, some thirty fold.